My State & Welcome to it!
State computer specialist Mr. I.M. Smartizell immediately turned in his state cell phone. He then bought his own cell phone with a “900” number. Now when people in his department call him on his cell phone for IT help, the state is charged $3.00 per minute, which is automatically deposited in his off-shore bank account.
When contacted on his cell phone, Smartizell said, “I would like to thank Governor Brown for this opportunity to prepare for pending cuts in pay, pension and other benefits.”
The cost of the call to this reporter was $15.00.
Governors come and governors go, but the goofiness goes on!
–ColorfulClay*
*permission to use with attribution to this blog: https://colorfulclay.wordpress.com
Colorfulclay's Blog 
Many people who read this report did not realize it was a spoof. Maybe I should try to get job writing for “The Onion – America’s Finest News Source.”